Columbiana
When was the last time you saw a movie where all the violence was integral to the story? It's been a long time for me and this movie does it right.
Amandla Stenberg starts things off with a bang as the 10 year old impales one of the bad guys through the hand as she sits quietly at the table.
She grows up into Zoe Saldana and then we are off and running.
The rest of the cast was stellar. Michael Vartan, Cliff Curtis (from Trauma on NBC, one of my favorites that got cancelled) ground Saldana's character and let us see other sides to her.
The movie is fast paced and there are some light moments. But at the center of it all is this character that must have her revenge.
I don't want to give anything away. But I will say that the audience clapped and for a theater of people without power, seriously some really needed a shower, I thought that said a lot.
This is definitely a must see. Saldana kicks ass and looks amazing while she does it.
Friday, September 2, 2011
Pre-hurricane Movie Night August 26th, 2011
Conan The Barbarian 3D
I decided to go to a late movie so I could hit up the 24 hour supermarket nearby, everything else had been stripped in the run up panic of Hurricane Irene. I have heard a lot of mixed things about this movie and decided to see for myself. Big, big mistake.
Imagine if you will that Waterworld and Pirates of the Caribbean had a child, they would name it Conan.
There is a literal land yacht, some sand people and Rose McGowan with hair only on the back half of her head. Somebody from Pirates or somebody who got fired from Pirates really tried with the costuming.
I am going to give credit to the actors and lay the blame at the feet of the director. The actors tried, they really did. It felt like this could have been a decent flick but I'd bet the pieces that would have made it decent ended up on the editing room floor.
During the two hours I sat alone I texted a friend and he came back with, 'I've always like a good sandals and swords movie.' This was more a skirt and sword movie as they wrap Jason Momoa in a blanket and he wears that for the rest of the movie.
Of course, this movie is really just a love story. Poor orphaned boy meets rich haughty girl. They hate each other and then suddenly they don't. Obligatory sex scene. Then back to the action or non-action.
I also wondered if the scissor sword set up was this movie's double ended light saber.
But what is a girl to do after sex with the Barbarian? Wander the forest like damned Little Red Riding Hood and get yourself captured. It was like a bad horror movie when the girl hears something and decides to go and investigate.
I'm not going to give anything else away. I will ask three questions:
1. Why does human sacrifice have to take sooooo long?
2. Did the mask thing look like it had an anus? That drank blood?
3. Was it me or did Jason Momoa's chest hair grow in through the movie?
I wouldn't recommend this to anyone. Ever.
I decided to go to a late movie so I could hit up the 24 hour supermarket nearby, everything else had been stripped in the run up panic of Hurricane Irene. I have heard a lot of mixed things about this movie and decided to see for myself. Big, big mistake.
Imagine if you will that Waterworld and Pirates of the Caribbean had a child, they would name it Conan.
There is a literal land yacht, some sand people and Rose McGowan with hair only on the back half of her head. Somebody from Pirates or somebody who got fired from Pirates really tried with the costuming.
I am going to give credit to the actors and lay the blame at the feet of the director. The actors tried, they really did. It felt like this could have been a decent flick but I'd bet the pieces that would have made it decent ended up on the editing room floor.
During the two hours I sat alone I texted a friend and he came back with, 'I've always like a good sandals and swords movie.' This was more a skirt and sword movie as they wrap Jason Momoa in a blanket and he wears that for the rest of the movie.
Of course, this movie is really just a love story. Poor orphaned boy meets rich haughty girl. They hate each other and then suddenly they don't. Obligatory sex scene. Then back to the action or non-action.
I also wondered if the scissor sword set up was this movie's double ended light saber.
But what is a girl to do after sex with the Barbarian? Wander the forest like damned Little Red Riding Hood and get yourself captured. It was like a bad horror movie when the girl hears something and decides to go and investigate.
I'm not going to give anything else away. I will ask three questions:
1. Why does human sacrifice have to take sooooo long?
2. Did the mask thing look like it had an anus? That drank blood?
3. Was it me or did Jason Momoa's chest hair grow in through the movie?
I wouldn't recommend this to anyone. Ever.
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